Pluck from my eyes the translucent film. Obstructing, prohibiting, lying.

I want to breathe.

Deep, eternal, hold the succulent fresh air, luminescent, new and brimming with life.

I want to hear.

Patient, attentive: as the grain hears the wind and responds perfectly, with sharpness and tender love.

I want to taste.

Our friendship, our love: an appetite for communal peace, each drop as savory as the last.

I want to feel.

Alive. Look into my childish eyes and I in yours. Intertwined, our souls are. Tangible, unfettered, genuine. Vulnerable.

I long to be.

—

Mother, can you hear me as my lamentations echo upon your walls, or have we polluted your thoughts; too perverse, too greedy, too egocentric?

Father, can you see me as I grasp for your hands, your child, flailing and desperate, or have we turned so far away that the distance is too great; cloaked in pain, blame, and lies, twisting our vision into mere phantoms that resemble the idols we have built?

Brother, can you feel my breath upon you as I whisper my best attempts of love, or has our tongue become that of a serpent, permeated with blasphemy and bitter betrayal.

Sister, can you taste the sweat of my labor, the songs of the field, dripping with humility and kindness, or have we become so lazy, uneducated, and hateful, as to poison the water that bears eternal life?

Mother, can you forgive us?

-

Can we see!?  Will you allow us to breathe deep, hear tenderness, taste loveliness, and feel alive? Shall we continue to isolate ourselves with damnation?

I want to see.

I want to come home.

Edward Westover

Monday, August 10, 2009

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

– Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons 1999), 9-10.

Edward Westover

Bring The Betterment

Whitworth students making a difference

Spokane, Wash., Nov. 13, 2008 – The Betterment Project, a social movement rooted in positivity and activism, is officially being launched by Whitworth students Tyler Jones and Mike Ferrario.

As the depressing winter months begin to embark upon us, one organization stands against the foreboding despondency. Their mission is to actively conquer apathetic behaviors that lead to hopelessness. By rejecting laziness and other self -diminishing practices, they strive to create a positive environment for all who commence upon this uplifting lifestyle.

The key to this captivating crusade is simple yet brilliant: create a goal and stick to it. With family-like support from other members, the ever-expanding project has witnessed triumphant results in over 30 Whitworth students.

“As I was talking to Dillon (Fabie) the other day, he mentioned how his goal (talking to a member of his family a few times a week) brought him closer to them.” Said Ferrario, co-founder of The Betterment Project. “That is exactly what we hope for, people doing small things that are uplifting and positive. We want to face lethargic and morose spirits with dynamic and enthusiastic ones.”

The effort to lobby against apathy and ebbing practices is being squabbled by The Betterment Project right here on the campus of Whitworth University. In the midst of these gloomy months, there is hope for humanity, hope that is found within the embrace of an undertaking focused on the betterment of the human race.

Contact:

Mike Ferrario or Tyler Jones, creators

The Betterment Project

mferrario11@whiworth.edu

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC
Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn’t Bloody Moving

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) — After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

“Good Lord, that was a booze up,” said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent’s nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation’s general lack of respect from abroad.

“It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they’re Aussies so no one knows about ‘em,” recalled witness Kevin Porter. “Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia’s main problem is that it’s stuck in Australia, and everybody says ‘Too right!’”

“Well, it made sense at the time,” Porter added.

By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.

When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that’s the way it’s going to stay.

“We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It’s all ‘America did this,’ and ‘Europe says that,’” exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. “Well, we’re right in the thick of things now, so let’s just see if you can you ignore us.”

Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. “They broke Florida,” said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. “And most of Latin America is missing.”

Meanwhile, victims of what’s already been dubbed the “Australian Crawl” are still shaking off the event.

“Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time,” said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. “They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. ‘Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?’”

“Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one,” Cayetano added.

Panama, however, was not so lucky.

“Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through,” said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. “We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through.”

When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia “accidentally” backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it.

By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. “We’ve still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland,” said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. “I think we might have declared war on it. I don’t bloody remember. Maybe it’s time to go home.”

Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia’s withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.

U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request “absurd.”

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

I wish it did.

The tree is rotten, shredded by hacking termites

But glistening is the reflection of wisdom and knowledge of good and Evil.

If the seed rejects its metamorphosis and aspires to be autonomous of what is written

How then should it be perceived?

Fathers of serpents, sons of invention

The cyclical repetition ends with a beating of the heart.

No more shall the fruit drop rotten and grotesque

But through heedful eyes will the film and lead be foreign to this spawn.

Through patience and skillful virtue axes will chop the dead stalks, tall and deceptive.

Faith will replace falsity; truth will trample the tongue

And no more shall the apple aspire to be an orange.

-Edward Westover

Sept. 18^th, 2009

Father of Lies.